With the new year comes new years resolutions and promises to ourselves. Really it’s the best way to start off a new year with ambition and excitement about making a change in our lives. It’s positive, good, and empowering. Unfortunately changing the things that matter is hard and we have big expectations for the change we choose to make. That’s why when we eventually give up, and most of us will, on our new year’s resolutions we feel even shittier about it. Things are hard, life happens, and we get curve balls thrown at us all the time. You would think by the time you are an adult that we would’ve been able to read the pitch and hit the curve ball squarely out of the park but life isn’t that way. Shit happens and it happens in troves. This sounds like it’s already getting pretty dark and negative. Yes, life does suck sometimes and whenever you get ahead it always seems like there is something to kick your ass back where it belongs, behind where you think you should be.
That’s the weird thing when we feel like we are ahead then something happens and we feel like we are stuck and lost once again but why? Why do we feel that way? It’s not like someone else generated that expectation or drew that line in the sand but yet we still feel like we always have to chase that line and surpass it. If you are going to make a new years resolution, this is the one it should be: I vow to not get down on myself when I don’t reach my unrealistic expectations. I’ve talked about it before and I’ll say it again, it’s ok to have BIG unrealistic expectations because it’s something amazing to strive for but the downside to that is when we don’t reach those expectations it hurts, its hard, and life feels unbearably heavy. We need to understand that we aren’t infallible and that we will fail in life, it’s natural. It’s life. The great thing about this perspective is when you know this and you admit to yourself that it’s ok to fail as long as you dust yourself off and try again, you ultimately become more successful and appreciative of the strives you have made.
Try as you might you may not be able to lose that 30, 40, 50 lbs this year or like mine learn conversational French in 6 months but you can lose 5, 10, or 15 lbs, it’s actually pretty easy it just takes a little bit of routine adjustment. I may not be able to have a philosophical debate in 6 months in French but I’m pretty sure I could hold a simple conversation at a coffee shop with a native French person to at least show respect that I’ve made an attempt to learn a part of their culture. My point is that life doesn’t always go as planned, we can shoot for the stars but ultimately when we can’t quite make it there we need to be ok with where we do land. Losing 10 lbs instead of 50 lbs is better than losing no lbs or worse gaining weight. Life can be tough but with the right perspective and foresight we can make large differences in our lives. Shoot for the stars but start out small and work your way up. It’s easier to take baby steps instead of taking 150 foot leaps across a bottomless cavern, you’ll see more progress.