Recently I visited Chicago for a micro vacation, photographic assault on the city, and a recentering of self. Chicago has a special place in my heart and mind, it’s where I feel the most at peace. I grew up in a small town of roughly 2,500 people, give or take a few hundred. There has never been a moment or time that I can remember that I ever felt like I truly belonged there, I still get a sense that I don’t belong 27 years later. Some people absolutely love the slower pace, lack of culture, small town vibe but for me it is mind numbingly boring. In my junior year of high school I visited Chicago for the first time and immediately I felt like I belonged, I was sold, I started applying for colleges in Chicago. I desperately needed, for my own sanity, to get out of my small town. I got accepted to the Art Institute (not the Art Institute proper, the not-so-cheap knock off Illinois Institute of Art Chicago) and when the summer was over I was now living in Chicago. The lights, the pace, the people, and the excitement was invigorating. There have been few times in my life where I felt so universally accepted and simultaneously had such feelings of unity with the surrounding atmosphere. I loved it, however, it soon wouldn’t last, not my love affair with the city but my ability to continue to afford to go to school and live in Chicago. On top of all the difficulty staying afloat financially, I was struggling with some major personal issues, the waning pressure and stress took its toll and the bottom fell out. I had to tuck my tail and return back home to the crappy little town where I didn’t and don’t belong. It took me nearly 4 years to get my life back on track where I had the means and the ability to make it back to Chicago. It had been a difficult struggle making it to that point. Since then I’ve visited my beloved Chicago numerous times and each time welcoming those wonderful feelings of belonging.
Fast forward to the now and I once again went back to Chicago. This time it would be part of my journey for rediscovering myself, what makes me tick, and what I want my purpose in life to be. You see I have the type of mind that is either hyper distracted or hyper focused, there are few times that there is enough calmness to think metaphysical, the chaos of the city calms my brain and soul. Chicago has always brought out the most creative aspects of myself and has also supplied me with wonderfully pure moments in time where things were exactly how they were suppose to be, a state of being that I have seldom experienced living in my small town except when I was child, but then again everything was pure and untainted when we were children. That’s why I return to Chicago as much as possible and that’s why I strive to make it back there to live, for me Chicago is a state of being not just a place of residence. Now, I have a new weapon in my arsenal that will allow me to capture these moments, the presence of the city and a purpose, a camera.
The weekend was only planned to be a one night stand with the city I love but turned out to be a sporadic and exciting adventure. Jumping without any certainty that there will be a net to catch me is something I have definitely been known to do, I am at heart an impulse person. There is no adventure in life if there is no risk. There I was, 5:45 pm: at home, not packed, and wanting another night with my city. Checked the hotel listings, doable pricing, checked the Amtrak times (I take the Amtrak from Milwaukee to Chicago, it’s cheaper and less stressful), “Oh shit” last train leaves at 7:45 pm I’ve still got to pack and drive 1.5 hours to get to Milwaukee, the mad dash to the train station begins. I have, for some reason, a tendency to always be rushing to the train station. No matter the amount of planning, pre-packing, or clear traffic I always seem to cut it way too damn close but secretly, I love this type of travel, chaotic uncertainty. I enjoy winging things so instead of booking a hotel and train pass I did neither, it’s more exciting this way. Luckily, I made it to the train station with less than 10 minutes to spare. I was on my way to the place I consider home. On the train, the first portion of jumping without a net was secured, now onto taking another dive. Considering this to be one of the most busy weekends in Chicago with damn near full hotel capacity, due to a couple of very large conventions, making sure I secured a hotel at a reasonable rate would be tricky. I spent the next 30 min exploiting Priceline’s Name Your Price bidding structure to make certain that I received the best possible price for the best possible hotel. Boy did that pay off, altogether I paid less for the entire weekend then I would’ve had to pay for a single night the conventional way. Jumping without a net certainly has its perks but also its detriments (I don’t suggest it if you aren’t willing to face consequences, potentially sleeping on the street in this instance). The rest of my train ride I bathed in the adrenaline and excitement of the uncertainties. Shortly after 9 pm I was home.
Like I said Chicago does wonderful things for me and this particular weekend was no different from any other time in terms of personal growth and rebooting the system. The whole weekend was spent on a photographic assault on the city. I was trying to take in an entire city and everything it has to offer in a single weekend, of course completely impossible but that was going to stop me. I had a great idea of what I wanted to photograph, architecture and sights being the more conventional items, but what I really wanted was to capture the moments of my fellow humans enjoying their own precious moments in the city. I’m fairly new at street photography, it currently is my top choice of what I want my photographs to encompass, and with street photography there comes it’s own barriers, complications and issues. Street photography captures elements that can certainly make people uncomfortable, the subject and the photographer, due to its proximity and objective, however, the outcome can be extremely rewarding. This weekend in Chicago would be about getting over some of my own personal barriers and having the fortitude to move past the difficulty of potentially getting into someone else’s personal space. If I had achieved a 10% return of quality photos and overcome some of my own fears with photographing people it would be a success. Success it was, I got some great photos, overcame some of my fears of street photography, faced some adversity and weird looks but overall it was an excellent time. Once again the city brought me to a state of calm and belonging.
Spending time in the city, exploring, facing my fears, and jumping without a net are experiences that I for one would never had experienced had I not had the courage to task some risk. Sitting in the numerous coffee shops I visited, capturing moments, talking to other people in the city, walking the streets at dawn, midday, and night brought me indescribable peace and clarity. I learned valuable lessons in street photography, physical comfort (brought the wrong shoes, I should’ve known better), and creating my own memorable moments all because I took sight of a goal and executed. It’s important for everyone to find that one person, place, or thing that brings you calm in the chaos of everyday noise. My calm is Chicago yours may be your small town, cabin in the woods, beach in the tropics, wherever it is or whatever it is we need to take the time to be apart of it and recharge. Take those risks and jump without nets so that you can have unforgettable experiences and wonderful stories to retell to the sleepwalkers who are too afraid to task risk or leave the perceived comfort of their unfulfilling lives. You never know, you may find new clarity and a new, more fulfilling purpose in life.