There will be numerous times in your life where you will be let down, your expectations were just far too high. We like to think that we have control in our lives but really we have little to no control. We may have some control over our own actions but we have zero control of the environment and people around us, just a simple fact of life. You will be let down, you will have too high of expectations, and you will be pissed about it. I’m here to tell you, grow some balls and just enjoy life. Fuck expectations and trying to live life based around an unrealistic reality.
I’m not saying that you should not have expectations because you should, we should all strive and shoot for certain outcomes in life. What I am saying is when your expectations let you down, and they will, you should not put so much weight and emphasis on being let down. Just say “fuck it” and make the best out of the situation.
In most of our creative pursuits and even our day to day experiences we will consistently be let down by ourselves, others, or our environment. It’s a fact of life, deal with it. If we can make the best out of any situation no matter how let down we feel we can always come away with something meaningful. And really, making life meaningful is what it’s all about.
I just spent three days and four nights in Chicago with the intent of three things: get a great skyline sunrise photo, a great skyline sunset photo, and capture Christmas in the city. Pretty simple tasks, I left a lot of space to explore other options in between my primary goals. Well fuck if the weather gods didn’t decide to piss all over my parade. There was a massive fog and cloud coverage everyday in the morning and in the evening, no sunrises or sunsets. I didn’t even see the sun until the last few hours of my trip before I had to hop the train and head back home.
Here is the best example of managing expectations and making the best of the moment I had from the weekend. It was 5AM Friday morning and I was gearing up to make the trek to Adler Planetarium from my hotel, roughly a 25-30 minute adventure. It was cold and dreary outside. There was a thick fog looming over the city but I committed and decided to venture on knowing that, most likely, when the sun rose the fog would break, opening up the city for my shot. I was wrong, what can I say I’m not a weather expert. As I neared closer and closer to my destination the fog grew thicker and thicker gradually migrating itself towards Lake Michigan consuming every square inch of the city. I finally reached my destination after a very VERY brisk walk alongside the lake front trail. I wandered around, freezingly (20degrees with 20 mph winds) searching for a location to shoot from. By the time I managed to find a spot the fog had consumed the entire city and not a single skyscraper was viewable, just a thick fog wall. On top of that the clouds over Lake Michigan were thicker than the fog, there would be no sun this morning or varying colors in the sky.
Needless to say I was not a happy photographer, in fact I was quite let down and pissed but frankly too damn cold to stay frustrated for long, the cold didn’t even let me focus on my disappointment. I sat down on the ledges and looked out over Lake Michigan. That’s when it hit me, the calm was soul soothingly amazing. There was not a boat in sight, the sound of the city hummed quietly in the background, cold lake breeze flowing across my face and the most soothing greenish gray skies and lake I have ever seen. I have never been in such a peaceful state and I was truly enjoying the moment. It was an illuminating experience. My expectations had been shattered but the result wasn’t disappointment it was peace. I had experienced by far the most enlightening, soothing, and surreal moment I have ever had in Chicago. It brought me closer to the city and made me appreciate the uniqueness of the surroundings.
If I had let that expectation continue to ruin my day I never would’ve had one of the most profound experiences of my life. I would never have seen something and experienced something that I didn’t know was there. My life will forever be changed by that moment in time. When we think about our creative and daily pursuits we often have unrealistic expectations and honestly that’s ok as long as when you are let down you don’t let it control the moment. Feel the defeat and get rid of it, experience the moment around you and make the most out of the situation that you can.
Each time life doesn’t live up to your expectations it is like hitting rock bottom in that moment. From my experience, if you are aware and attentive to the world, the most profound and beautiful things happen just after you hit bottom. Your world, in that moment, can only become better and when you stop to look around you will find that there is some brilliant and life changing experiences all around you. Failed expectations doesn’t have to mean failed experiences but instead, with the right mindset, it can result in much more profound and rewarding experiences.